There is a particular toilet paper commercial on TV right now that puzzles me. In the spot, the adult characters argue about who is going to touch a particular “gross” undergarment on the floor. The child in the commercial then runs onto the screen, to say, “I’ll touch it because my hineys clean.” Say what? Yes, I know the whole premise of the commercial involves keeping a clean bum by using the advertised toilet paper. But I still find it hard to believe that neither of the parents would pick up the presumably dirty underwear on the floor. Gross? That’s just normal guys. Call me crazy, but I can think of a ton of other, far more disgusting, things I’ve done as a mom, and I am confident I am not alone.
I feel like it’s a rite of passage to have an initial “hey you’re a parent” gross moment dealing with poop. Ours came in the first few weeks following the birth of our son with a so-called “blowout” at 3 am. After realizing, the diaper wasn’t doing its job and poop was everywhere, we bathed the baby, got him back to bed and I changed my clothes as well. I was so thankful my husband was there to laugh at this gross scenario. We headed back to bed only to realize the bed was hit too. So, I did what any overly exhausted mom would do, I put a towel down and slept on the dirty sheets. True story. I was in survival mode, don’t judge.
These days, I regularly wipe my kid’s nose with my hand, sans Kleenex. I’ve been peed on, both by a baby and now a three-year-old. I’ve cleaned up countless episodes of puke and considered throwing away our car seat so I didn’t have to clean it and put it back together again. I’m given “snot kisses” almost weekly which are exactly like they sound. I’ve cheered at the sound of toots and poop in the potty. And I say each of these with pride.
Put simply, I’m a parent. We love hard and sometimes that love means getting a little dirty and doing some of the gross things. And as such when we wear that parental badge of honor, it often comes with a booger attached to it. That’s not to say that my son doesn’t clean up well too. He does. But I’ll say this to the toilet paper company, “your “dirty” underwear doesn’t scare me…clean hiney or not.”
What are some of your classic gross kid moments Indy Moms?