Okay, so to my knowledge there isn’t actually a Soul Sister Appreciation Day… kinda made that one up. 😉
But there should be!
Soul sisters change your life.
What transforms a regular friendship into a “soul sister” level friendship?
What I mean when I use the term soul sister, is the type of woman you can trust with your life.
You know, that deep, belly laughter-filled friendship where you can sprawl on each other’s couches drinking coffee and talking about nothing and everything and feel completely held, safe and whole? The kind of friendship where you can be your total authentic self (and therefore do not become exhausted by the feigned social interaction). I’m talking about the light-filled nourishing friendship where you can daydream and grow your souls together.
I have realized more and more how some women have not experienced this type of genuine connection and sisterhood, and how freakin’ lucky I am to have found my tribe (though we are all scattered across the states now, making our own magic wherever we’ve landed). It feels like everywhere I go, through every stage of my life, I gain one or two more lifelong soul sisters that add an entire universe to my life.
So, what makes these women so special, and more importantly, how do we find our soul sisters?
We build each other up:
What I notice about conversations with these women vs. the more basic or surface friends is that they are soul nourishing, uplifting and genuine talks that delve deeply into things that are important to us. It’s less about gossip and rehashing grudges and more about bouncing our dreams off of each other. Conversation makes us feel excited and energized because we make each other feel the endless and infinite possibilities at our powerful fingertips. We encourage each other, hold space for each other and allow each of our unique gifts to serve the friendship in helpful ways. This is totally contrary to a naysaying or negative friend who spends a lot of time and energy knocking our desires and ideas or focusing on the latest dramatic gossip because of their own unresolved fears and hangups.
These women are actively working on themselves:
My soul sisters are all so different and so unique, but the common thread among us all is that we are all working on ourselves in our own authentic ways: facing fears, healing hurts, taking leaps of faith toward our dreams, uncovering all of the things that aren’t serving us and releasing them.
These are the magical medicine women that lead by example just by being themselves in their everyday lives. They are the ones with their eyes and hearts wide open, who refuse to stay stuck or shackled by heavy earthly circumstances and instead they rise, giving everyone around them permission to do the same. Are they perfect women living their best lives? Hell no. Even better than that, they own their imperfections and use their shadows to guide them.
I really believe we become similar to those we spend the most time connecting with, and that it is our divine birthright and responsibility to be discerning and fierce about which relationships we pour our energy into. Contrary to the popular “opposites attract” cliche’, like energy attracts like energy.
Spending time with these warrior women automatically elevates us.
Our connections transcend time and space:
We can go a couple of months without talking and then one will send a text because her psychic-soul-sister spidey senses were ringing and she knew we needed her. She’s the one who dreams you’re pregnant and tells you before even you know. She texts or calls out of the blue when you’re struggling with something or just wondering what the heck you’ve been up to. We don’t have to apologize profusely when it’s been a few months without contact or make up some lie about why we haven’t connected. There’s no hostility or bitterness, or a need to rebuild back to our deep connections because they exist always, like beautiful ethereal cords keeping us tied to our sisters no matter where life takes us.
Kinda like traveling pants… but more invisible and energetic in nature. 🙂
We don’t fight or gossip about each other:
I can honestly say I have never had a conflict with my beautiful soul sisters, even when all of our different personalities come together because we just get each other and allow each other to be who we are. We don’t use bitterness, jealousy or guilt to manipulate each other or bring each other down.
I’ve found that with friendships or connections that have worn themselves out or are just not in resonance with our life path anymore, but maybe we don’t have the guts or the inner knowing to release the friendship, often it will turn into a more resentful or guilt-filled interaction rather than a genuine connection and we find more faults and annoyances than common ground.
Soul sister friendships are peaceful and we can rest in them.
How do we find these deeper, soul sister friendships?
The weird thing I’ve realized is that when you’re ready for a soul sister friendship, it’s like a beacon shoots up from your being and magnetizes these women to you at the exact right time. All my soul sisters have come “randomly” to me, when I least expected them, and when I’ve been making an active effort to be good to myself, to uphold my boundaries by not allowing exhausting people into my life, and finding and pursuing my own interests. The cliche’ about one door closing and another opening has held true here for me; when I trim out toxic or exhausted friendships that have no place in my life anymore, it’s like I’m sending a message that says I won’t accept anything less than a soul sister friendship… I just won’t waste my time or energy on it… and then along she comes!
So here’s to all the beautiful soul sister friendships on the planet, and all of the soul-sisters-to-be, just waiting on the divine timing of your paths intertwining and your friendship story beginning.
May we all find our Soul Sister Tribes!
And to my beautiful sisters, I hope you know how eternally grateful I am to carry you with me always.