Kindly Never Ring My Doorbell Again, Please

It’s funny the way becoming a parent changes you as a person, and changes some of your behaviors and preferences. For me, there are too many changes to count, but one of the most telling differences between me now and me pre-baby is how I feel about the little bell outside our front door that alerts us when someone is there to visit.

Or drop off a package. Or doorbell ditch. Or deliver pizza.

I’m a pretty calm person and don’t tend to lose my temper, but in the early days of motherhood, I could feel my blood start pumping and temples throbbing when someone would ring that charming little bell. You see, now that I’m a parent, I despise that ringer.

Newborns nap or sleep approximately 70 percent of the time. Parents spend approximately 20 percent of the time trying to get newborns to sleep. And the last 10 percent of the time is spent actually enjoying an awake, happy baby (don’t check my math too hard on this equation, please).

If someone rings the doorbell while the baby is sleeping, the baby will wake. If someone rings the doorbell while a parent is trying to get a baby to sleep, the baby will become re-energized and angry. If someone rings the doorbell when the baby is happy and awake, the parent will miss out on some of that rare, happy baby time in order to see who is at the door. There is a 100 percent chance that no one should ring the doorbell when a baby is inside or could be inside a home. I’m confident about that stat.

After my husband and I learned how much we disliked the doorbell, we left a sign on the front door asking people to please not ring the doorbell. This seemed easier than uninstalling the doorbell as a whole. Some listened, others made my blood boil.

Around the time Deacon turned one, we took the sign down. He was only napping once a day; we were sleeping better, laid-back and flexible! Well, he just turned two, and UPS, USPS and FedEx are in holiday overdrive (to match my holiday gift-buying drive), and I’ve found myself missing the sign. Delivery drivers come to the front door, drop the package and ring the bell before scampering off again, sometimes as late as 8:30 p.m.! I get that we don’t want someone stealing a package, and I truly don’t want that to happen, but if given the choice between dealing with a toddler who only had a 15-minute nap, or having to re-buy my Amazon purchase… assuming it wasn’t an expensive purchase… I’d probably choose to re-buy.

So, starting… as soon as I submit this blog post… the sign is going back up. Kindly never ring my doorbell again, please.

Happy holidays!

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