Oh my goodness, the pressure seems like it’s increasing. I truly dislike traveling to the grocery store. I feel like a whale. It use to take me twenty minutes to shop, now it takes me one hour. Ugh, eight more weeks and this will be over. Alright, I’m ready to leave. Let me grab my purse. What in the world? Am I peeing on myself? Oh my, is it happening now? Wait, why do I feel like he’s crowning? Agh, it hurts. Is that blood? He’s coming now. I’m alone at home. What do I do? No time to think. Push, push, push, puuuuuuuush! Oh my, he’s beautiful. Look at your chubby cheeks and your head full of hair. You’re not suppose to be here yet. Where’s William?
(Alarm goes off) Whew, it was only a dream.
When Mother Nature Has A Different Plan For You
On Friday, April 21, 2017 5:09 p.m. I was mopping at one of my child care centers. Without warning, it happened. Warm clear liquid slowly drained from my underwear, down to my feet. Could it be? Am I going into labor? I’m only thirty-two weeks pregnant. What’s happening? I yelled out to my husband. He rushed downstairs to see what was wrong. I looked at him and said, “I think my water just broke.”
Breathe in, breathe out. Camalla, don’t panic. Everything will be okay. My conscious took control of the situation to keep me calm. When we arrived at the hospital, at that very moment, I asked God to take over. On our way to the hospital, I called my doctor to let them know the situation. I went to the hospital, and after 20 minutes of back-and-forth, one of the nurses finally said, “Whatever, I’ll take her to labor and delivery. She’s in labor and I’m not about to have her sit here and have a baby in a hall.”
“Well Camalla, after running some test. We’ve come to a conclusion that you’ve ruptured your water bag,” said the Doctor. I was in shock. “Really? How?” “We don’t have an explanation of why it happened, it just happened,” he says. “Okay, so I’m on bedrest?” “Oh, it gets better. Not only are you on bedrest, you’re on hospital bedrest until you turn 34 weeks.” he said. My stomach started to cramp and I couldn’t help but burst out in tears. I didn’t understand why this was happening to me. Who was going to run my child cares for two weeks. I’m short staff, how will I break this news to my parents? “Camalla I know this can be tough but we will help you get through this.
Let me tell you our plan. “If your son allows you to wait until May 6, we will induce you to go into labor. In the meantime, we’re going to give you two steroid shots and magnesium to help develop your child lungs and brain. He may come into this world needing assistance breathing and eating on his own. He will be placed in the NICU until he’s able to breath and eat on his own. This process can take up to 2-3 weeks. We won’t know what he will need until he enters the world.” says the doctor. “Wait, so you mean to tell me that I’m stuck here for two weeks before I give brith and my child could possibly be stuck here for 2-3 weeks after I give birth?” I said. “Yes, that’s right.” says the doctor.” Now I’m crying hysterically.
The doctor gave my husband and I time alone to process what has happened. William hugged me and assured me that everything will be okay. He promised that he will be my backbone. William and my mother has been a great support system. They’ve been working 7:30am to 6:00pm everyday at my child cares. My mother has been keeping our home clean. She washes and put and help put away our clothes. At times I can be pretty hard on my husband because I set my expectations to high for him. I am a mother who does it all. I’m the backbone of our family. It wouldn’t be fair if I expected William to take on all the responsibilities I put on myself on a daily basis. That’s not fair to him. I see that he’s trying and I should thank him instead of displaying what he’s not doing.
Not every man could step up and fulfill the duties that were forced upon him. Being in the hospital has allowed me to step back and appreciate who I’ve married. I am not the easiest person to love. I can be a little OCD about things. But he loves me unconditionally and he tries his best to make me happy. No matter how much he drives me crazy at times, I know he is the only man that can love me the way he loves me.
Finding Ways To Keep Myself Sane
Every morning I look out my window. I imagine feeling the breeze on my skin. Finding a positive in every negative situation is hard to do. Giving myself a positive affirmation is how I like to start my day. It helps me forget about yesterday and enjoy being in the moment. Highlighting the positives of my situation, sets the tone of my day. Everything happens for a reason. Be thankful I was blessed to prepare myself for a premature birth. Most mothers aren’t given a chance to take in what’s happening. I can and will get through this.
Have some fun. Get dressed up, put on some lipstick. Who says you have to look like you’re staying in a hospital? To boost my spirits, I took some time to rod my hair and get dressed. Always find the time to make yourself feel good. I love having mini selfie photoshoots.
Due to unpredictable circumstances, I had to cancel my daughter’s birthday party. Aryanna asked if I could throw her party at the hospital with close friends and family. The littlest things makes my heart sing. How does she do it? If my nine year old can think of a way to put a smile on my face, I can do the same. I hosted her mermaid madness birthday bash in my hospital room. It turned out perfect and everyone had a blast. As I took in the moment, I looked at my daughter in awe. We raised a young lady to appreciate the small things in life. She appreciated, spending time with people she loves in a hospital room. Who wouldn’t be proud to be her mother? We give thanks to Carmel St. Vincent Hospital. There would be no party without their help and support.
Missing out on moments like my four year old losing her first tooth, broke me down. She’s the first child I wasn’t able be a tooth fairy. Instead of giving in to the negative outlook, I reminding myself to be thankful for technology. I was able to witness it happening on FaceTime. Always remind yourself of the good in every bad moment. Sometimes life doesn’t go as planned. You have to make a choice. Do I dwell in the negativity? Or do I accept it and make the best of it? I leave you on this quote:
“She stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails.” Elizabeth Edwards